A Scary Night

Friday night was a scary night at our house.

This is not typically what I post on my blog about,

but this experience has impacted me in so many ways,

that I feel a huge need to record it.

Shae has been sick for three day with a nasty cold. I was thinking the flu. He almost never gets sick but this week he has been completely wiped out. For several days, he has not eaten much and complained of severe fatigue, weakness and dizziness. I have not been the most sympathetic wife because I have had many things on my to do list this week--a pioneer dress for example.

So Friday evening he was laying on the couch watching a movie with the kids. I sent the girls to bed and was holding Zach as Shae got up to get some medicine. From the kitchen I hear him saying "Shell, what is happening? What is going on?" I get up and round the corner to see my 6 foot one hubby collapse to the floor--hitting his head on the tile in the process. I am completely stunned and run to see if he is OK. He wasn't--I tried to wake him up and was screaming for the girls to call 911. His eyes were rolled back and his pupils dilated and he looked so completely white. I grabbed the phone and called 911 for an ambulance. He finally started to wake up. We called off the ambulance and put a blanket over him. He had no recollection of what had happened--just woke up to see his three girls sobbing over him.

Shaking, I called two of our friends who just happen to be doctors for advice on what to do. It took about 20 minutes for him to be able to get off the floor to the couch and he was not really with it. I would almost have to yell at him to get him to answer my questions. The children were completely stressed because their Mother who is also an RN is freaking out. I take his blood pressure--which was fine by then--but he still seemed so out of it. So I load the kids up to head to a friend's house and find two kind and willing men to give Shae a blessing. Then I start feeling completely peaceful. We are on our way to the ER--everything is just fine.

After dropping off the kids and a blessing is given to Shae out in the snow because he was too weak to move out of the van, we head to the ER. As I am pulling up he says "Oh no." Sure enough, he passes out again as I pull up. I run to his side of the car and I am literally pounding on him to wake up. It took what seemed like forever to get him to come out of it. Two security guards come out and help me get him into a wheelchair and they take off running to the ER. I turn off my car and go running behind them.

They check us in and his blood pressure is crappy, his pulse is racing and he looks the most sickly color I have ever seen. They quickly get him in a room and within 10 minutes he has an IV pumping fluid in him. Peace returns, although I am completely unsettled by the thought of my usually strong protector laying as weak as can be in that hospital bed. After an hour, they have a whole liter of fluid in him and the doctor says they would like to keep him on an IV all night. She tells me he is severely dehydrated and sends me home to get the kids and go to sleep. Which I do. I pick up my kids and bring them home to bed. It is now 1 am. I lay in bed trying to process how I feel about leaving Shae in the hospital alone and how much I did not like bringing our children home alone tonight.

I think about how life can change in just one second and how a sweet couple in my ward are saying goodbye to each other right now as the husband loses his battle with stomach cancer. I think of that wife watching her husband lay there weak, disoriented, and completely ill and I just feel an immense sadness come over me. I start sobbing in my bed.

My mind races with all of the things that I want to change and not take for granted. I commit then and there to enjoy more small moments and to worry about messy houses much, much less. I think about how much I need to get a current family photo and how much more I need to prepare myself spiritually for tough times. It was a pretty sleepless night thanks to the anxiety of my mind and the frequent waking up of Zach.

At 6:30 am I head back to the hospital to pick up Shae. He looks sooo much better. He got almost 3 bags of IV fluid and his skin color looks normal. He is even making jokes about when I will blog this whole experience. I am so exhausted but so deeply grateful to live in a time where there are emergency rooms and IV fluids. I ask if he needs a wheelchair to get to the van. He says--"I hope I don't sit in a wheelchair again until I am eighty." I am so hoping for that!

So now it is Sunday--he is still sick, but getting stronger. And we are being careful. We know the signs of dehydration now and know how quickly it can become serious. And this nurse is very mad at herself for not taking better care of her husband. I am trying to make up for it.

And today we learned that our friend, the one with stomach cancer, died yesterday. My heart hurts so completely deeply for that wife. So completely deeply.